Luis
20, HIV+, Latino, Male, Gay, Has used crystal

Sometimes I feel like I am just not good enough.  But, I mean I was doing what I had to do.  It's like, I'm homeless, I'm without a job, that just sits on your shoulders and it's just, like, too much weight on your shoulders and crystal helped me push it off and make me forget about it.  I was just going crazy. 

My father passed away and after that it was like I wanted to, I didn't care.  You know, going through the whole shelter system with my family and seeing that, it was a lot of stress, a lot of stress and I was the only one there for them.  I had a lot on me, a lot of I need you, I need you, I need you, but you know I had no one.  So, I gave up.  Crystal was my escape at that point…I wasn't using it for too long, but it actually put a big dent in my life and pocket.  I was actually hustling to get my drugs of crystal or cocaine or whatever I was doing.  It brought a lot of sexual tension in my life and was probably the cause of me contracting HIV. 

And, you know, I took a big step back from it all and looked at it and realized that crystal meth was not for me.  It really, it not only charged my brain, but what it did to my health, I wasn't in great health at all, I was always sick.  I always was like getting ideas, like my thoughts, were very bottled and everything, I always jumped to conclusions, even about things that weren't even true and I was always feeling like, yeah, paranoid.  I didn't do it for too long.  I did it for maybe a summer or two.  I didn't really do it during Christmas time or during the holidays or winter, it was really more towards summer.  And, it just, it wasn’t for me, it wasn't really for me.  I stopped.  That's basically what it was about. 

Crystal is, it boosted a lot of my sex drive to a point where I needed sex all the time just like I needed crystal.  You know what I mean?  After you know, dealing with everything, like my homelessness and everything, I recently found out I'm HIV positive, like six months ago or let's say a year.  So, I mean, it impacted my life a lot, negatively.