Javier
50, HIV+, Latino, Male, Gay, Has used crystal
When I do crystal I like to be fairly alone, just with the people I do it with.  I don't like people to interfere.  I don't like to answer the phone.  People can notice when you do crystal.  Cause you can change, I think people can notice that you change — it's as if your whole being changes when you are on crystal… I mean, my crystal use used to be a secret, but now I talk about it.  Because I think that by talking about it that's how I use it less.  It's better if you are able to talk to your friends about it.  That doesn't mean I never do it, but if I say it's bad and I don't want to do it anymore and my relations with other people, it gives them the chance to say that they don’t want to see me do it anymore either. 

This happened with my last boyfriend.  We don't live together but he started to see me doing it more and it opened up an opportunity for him to express himself about it.  And it helps for other people too.  So, I am talking about it much more and I am probably only using it once a month, cause before it was more like every two weeks… I don't glorify crystal, because I've been using crystal for eight years.  And, through the years, at the beginning, it is a little bit, like alcohol, but at the time, you go through these phases in your life.  And I can feel other people who have fallen away because of crystal.  They've lost their house, they cannot work, they go crazy.  Me, I don't know, I laugh because I manage always to stop.  One of the things that works for me is that I buy just enough and I use it and then I never go back to the dealer.  I control it that way.  So far it's almost ten years and never a problem.