Curious and experimental
Leo
32, HIV +, Black, Male, Gay, Has used crystal
I met him off Adam4Adam, on a computer service dating thing online, I met him online when I met him I've never tried crystal ever before in Florida, I've heard a lot of things about it that you can become very addicted if you try it. I went to his house it was kind of crazy because how he like, we smoked it, it was just different he took a light bulb and he removed the silver part off, put the crystal in and we smoked it, and then my first initial reaction when I smoked it, I was a little shocked I stood there still a little bit, and maybe like an hour later I feel like I ruled the world, I don’t know why…And then he did something that I've never ever tried in my whole entire life.
He fisted me, and I've never ever did that before…when he was fisting me I felt like it was just, like I was a woman. I felt like I was a woman, like I was masturbating myself like I've never ever done before… and that's like so rare for me. Cause I like, I had to touch myself. I didn't touch myself. It just felt, I don't know. Honestly I think I totally would do some more if I had enough money to buy it [crystal], but not like a regular basis. Only when I want to have sex with a big dick: not regular size, my size, 8 and a half – 9. But big dicks I have to use something, I can't take it. I'll just be wasting their time…I guess it's just the usage of crystal. I guess you don’t have no control. I don't know if people have control when they're really on it, but for me, my whole body just… maybe like 15 minutes later I felt that everything is just sexual. I mean, I took X before, but X is totally different, X is touchy-touchy.
But crystal just made like, god I could just do any of this sex all night…I've never had sex without a condom before when I was doing weed or when I was doing coke. I mean I just never… but with crystal it just made me feel totally different. I have never felt like that in my whole life. And I said I would never… like I told you I think it’s a sexual drug for me.
Comments (24)
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meth is the new gay , (world epidemic) even those of us who do not get hook, or use regulary, suffer a goiod chance of loosing or sex drive. it becomes a tool for sex. now with all loss for love effection or caring it is about the drug, sex and getting off. the crash and burn effect is not worth the high, let alone not able to feel love or passion with out. find a guy, have a date, a litlttle wine , even a joint if you need it. but meth. it is what you hear, and will reck you life on all leavels.
tony terro | July 11, 2010 4:54 pm -
I lived as a gay man for ten years. I tried to find happiness everwhere, sex, drugs and rock n roll. I did T quiet a few times. I never was addicted to it though, I have tried x, coke, t, weed, ghb, and a few more. I am here to tell you all it did when it wore off was tear me down. Yea it made sex wild but i was seeing things and hearing voices. Is that a life someone wants to live I don't so I gave my life back to christ and decided to live for HIM. there is hope you don't have to live in discouragement and fear. Visit www.victorlevan.com for help
victor | July 10, 2010 8:36 pm -
I personaly have come to know the danger of meth. First it started as recreational experiences by smoking meth. And having as much sex as possible with as mamy guys as possible too. Thats how I got hiv. After a few years, on one night I combined meth with a few joints/hash/weed, which lead to my first psychosis. Three days of booty bumps (anal use of meth) and so on without sleeping, resulted in days of fear and horror in my head. I thought I was strong and could handle it. In the years to come I became more addictive, there were periods I didnt use meth but other drugs like cocaine and speed, also very dangereous drugs wich can make you psychotic. I lived the life as a psycho when I used drugs on dating/sex evenings, but was "normal" when I didnt use, and thats the danger, thats when you think you are strong, because you also forget your psycho moments (but your surrounding doesnt, so you loose friends, work, family etc) You become abandonned by everyone except by those who do meth as well, not a good influence. Then I discovered injecting meth, my CD4 levels dropped from 1100 to a staggering 50 points. Last year my psychological health deteriorated to that of out of control behaviour, hearing voices all day long while being on meth and seeing things which are not there. Pure fear and horror. This year my meth-use was at its peak, I injected meth every week, one evening of meth (2 shots) costed me 6 days to recover, I became completely paranoid (I saw people being beheaded by guillotines in the streets) and I did 2 suicide attempts while being on meth, because it really fucks up your head. The instant rush wich takes a few minutes together wish a slower longer rush of a few hours is NOT worth losing you life for , or in the worst scenario (I came very close) even dying: I lost my work, my house, my fourniture, my health, lost weight, no where to go, lost my good looks, if it wasn't for my loving mother who has had a terrible year with me, I would have wondered the streets and perhaps would have died by now. I was lucky she kept believing in me untill last week I was very strong: I deleted dealers numbers and threrw away all seringes I had. I also broke of contact with friends who kept me in that world, and changed my behaviour when it comes to dating on chatrooms. Dont forget the danger of that too! It's a package deal. I sought help by going into therapy too. I want my life back. Please take me as an example of an ordinary neat guy, who got in touch with THE most dangerous drugs in the whole world. Its so very deceiving (together with the gay life style) this meth. I hope I will be strong and can hold on the new life. Good friends, family and work and enhoying life as it is without drugs, that is how we are meant to live, DO NOT be fooled by meth's first appealing side effects, its pure destruction of mind and body, but also your inner soul. Dopamine and serotonin levels decrease rapidly, so you need more of meth to achieve the same or equivalent rush level, which may lead to overdose and heart/vain problems and even death. And the depression days and weeks after to rebuild your dopamine/serotonin levels leaves you living your life in sadness and depression untill your next shot, and then it starts all over again, a continueous spiral downwards. Take care guys!!
July 09, 2010 3:10 pm - View all comments
